“Who” or “Whom”?

Many of us don’t know when it’s appropriate to use the odd word whom.

The grammarian will tell you that it’s simple: Whom is always the object of a preposition. That clears things right up, doesn’t it? Not for most of us.

If we’re fluent in a language, we don’t usually decide how to write or speak in terms of grammatical categories. We write or speak according to what sounds right. Words just come to us.

But whom is one of those odd words that only very rarely sounds right to most Americans. It seems stiff and formal, a word that we see or hear mostly in legal documents, religious texts, black-and-white movies with British butlers who accept calling cards from visitors wearing fur.

Here’s a trick that may help: When you don’t know whether to use who or whom in a sentence, ask yourself whether him fits the context. If it does, so will whom.

The movie director, whom we met in the hotel lounge as he drank a fifth martini, did not recognize us later.
The movie director — we met him in the hotel lounge as he drank a fifth martini — did not recognize us later.

For whom does the bell toll?
The bell tolls for him.

Related post: “Its” or “It’s”?

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